Funny Birthday Quotes

Ok, your sides may not be splitting with laughter at these funny birthday quotes. But they will hopefully induce a lot of smiles at the very least. Have fun.

New born baby asleep on soft towels with funny birthday quote.

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A Top 10 List of

Funny Birthday Quotes


"Birthdays are good for you.
Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."

- Reverend Larry Lorenzoni


"The worst gift is a fruitcake.
There is only one fruitcake in the entire world,
and people keep sending it to each other."

- Johnny Carson


"Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning."

- Bob Hope


"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."

- Mark Twain


"For all the advances in medicine,
there is still no cure for the common birthday."

- John Glenn


"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."

- Phyllis Diller


"If you survive long enough, you're revered-rather like an old building."

- Katherine Hepburn


"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday
but never remembers her age."

- Robert Frost


"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

- Bob Hope


"Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them."

- Anna Magnani

And some of the best of the rest...

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

- Anon

"Getting old ain't for sissies."

- Betty Davis

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly,
eat slowly, and lie about your age."

- Lucille ball

"Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

- Mark Twain

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