Funny Life Quotes

This is a Top 10 list of funny life quotes that I think are worth a moment or two of your time, and will hopefully brighten those moments.

Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle and this'll help things turn out for the best…

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… always look on the bright side of life… (your whistling, right? Impossible not to!) Anyway, that was of course some of the Monty Python's Life of Brian lyrics written by Eric Idle. Hope that set the mood a little. Here we go...

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A Top 10 List of Funny Life Quotes


"Life would be infinitely happier
if we could only be born at the age of eighty
and gradually approach eighteen."

Mark Twain 1835 - 1910 : Author, humourist and speaker


"The first hundred years are the hardest."

William Mizner


"Life is better than death,
I believe, if only because it is less boring
and because it has fresh peaches in it."

Thomas Walker


"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others."



"An optimist is someone who falls of the Empire State Building,
and after 50 floors says, 'so far so good'."


Praying angelic emoticone


"Life is just one damned thing after another."

Erbert Hubbard


"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."



"Crying doesn't help anything,
try your luck with violent mood swings."



"Personally, I don't think there's life on other planets.
Why should other planets be any different from this one?"

Bob Monkhouse 1928 - 2003 : Comedian and actor


"Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone
who knows what he's talking about."

Sam Ewing


"When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

Mark Twain 1835 - 1910 : Author, humourist and speaker

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